Round One: Forensics vs CSI

Constable Dale Stansbury, 41, a forensics identification specialist with Peel Regional Police, was truly amazed when forensics experts on television’s CSI managed to turn a digital image of a suspect around so they could see his face. “You just can’t do that,” says Const. Stansbury, adding shows like CSI create unrealistic expectations. “They show forensics teams processing scenes in a matter of hours, when it can take days.” But using the latest technology and experimenting is a part of the job, just like on TV, the constable says. “We’re not burning pigs dressed in nightgowns in the parking lot,” Const. Stansbury says, referring to the episode exploring spontaneous combustion. “But we are recreating incidents to determine exactly how things happened.” The most rewarding part of the job is when information collected by the forensics team is used in court, says the forensics expert. “The information we collect can make a crucial difference in the outcome of a case.”

Round Two: Police vs. Law and Order

Managing public expectations and paperwork are major parts of day-to-day police work, unlike what you see on TV, says Peel Regional Police Constable Wayne Patterson, 41. “The expectations of the public (thanks to what you see on TV) are sometimes very hard to manage,” says the former investigations unit member, now in communications. “The victim’s expectations frequently don’t match the reality.” An important part of making an arrest that you don’t see on TV is the paperwork, Const. Patterson adds; “Many times you must stay after your shift to complete it.” Still, TV has it right on at least one count. “We really do work as a team. Even if you’re not working on the same file, if other members of your team know you’re working late they offer to help you finish your paperwork so you can get home to your family.” Family life is difficult to balance with policing, as depicted on television, he admits.

“You really have to get used to not being in charge and not really being in the loop when you get home,” says Constable Patterson. “And you don’t talk about work when you get there.”

Round Three: Nurses vs. Grey’s Anatomy, House MD

Nurses don’t just take temperatures, change bedpans and have torrid love affairs with doctors, says RN Stephanie de Young, 30, with the Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto.

“Most television programs and films don’t depict nursing accurately at all,” says de Young. “In fact they do much of what you see the doctors doing on TV. They do clinical assessments and then consult with doctors. They monitor the patients closely and convey information to doctors. And they do much more than bedside work.” De Young spends part of her time attending to patients and part of her time in an office as co-chair of the hospital’s RN Council, an advocacy group that influences bedside care policy.

Nurses are not all female and they don’t just go into nursing to bed and wed doctors, asserts de Young, although a hospital is like any other work environment when it comes to workplace romance, she admits. De Young is a fan of the HBO series Nurse Jackie. “Some nurses are upset that a nurse with an addiction to prescription drugs is the main character and that’s understandable. But I like how the show depicts that nurses really advocate for their patients,” she says.

Round Four: EMS vs. The Listener

Even our own homegrown TV show The Listener, filmed in Toronto, is far from reflecting the daily reality of working in EMS, says paramedic Patrick Chatelain, 29.

“First of all there aren’t stabbings and gun shots wounds on a nightly basis,” says Chatelain. Incidents do happen, he explains, but there are lots of times when paramedics are called upon to do less high-adrenaline jobs, like transporting grandma from the nursing home to the hospital.

“It’s frustrating because it gives the wrong impression,” says the paramedic, in his fifth year with Peel region EMS.

“When I started the job I expected a faster pace. But we get all types of calls,” says Chatelain. “Sometimes, they involve gun shots and stab wounds, but people aren’t about to die all the time." For someone new to the job that can be frustrating, he says. So how do you survive the difference between reality and TV?

“You have to remember that you are making a difference, whether you’re helping out an elderly person who is lonely, or responding to the parent of a child who just had a seizure. You are a source of comfort to many.”

Round Five: Freelancer vs. Sex and the City

Freelance writer and soon-to-be published author Chris Frey appears to have a glamourous job. But, unlike Carrie Bradshaw, he’s nowhere near making enough money to buy a pair of Blahniks with a single paycheque.

Frey travels a lot for his job, which now mainly consists of writing a book for Random House about the global condition (part travelogue, part social commentary), but his operating costs are very close to the amount he’s bringing in. Even though he got an advance from the publisher (usually about a third of what an author can expect to make before royalties) Frey makes ends meet and covers travel costs by writing freelance pieces for magazines and newspapers.

“What people don’t realize is that when you’re a freelance writer, you’re your own boss,” says Frey. “You go out and find assignments. You’re constantly researching and refining ideas for new stories and pitching them to editors. Then if you get an assignment you have to do it and, most of the time, cover your own expenses. Then you have to make sure you get paid. You do everything a small business does, but it’s just you.”

The upside is you get to meet people and have experiences you may never have had otherwise. And you get to be spontaneous.

“This afternoon I’m taking a trip with a photographer friend up north. He’s got a job taking photos for an architect there. Then we’re staying over in a renovated barn and going mountain biking tomorrow,” says Frey.

Round Six: Live TV vs. 30 Rock

“Killer stressful but fun” is the way Derek Forgie describes his job as talent coordinator for MTV Canada Live, a daily TV show that includes live interviews, debates, surprise guests and feeds from all over the world.

Forgie, 32, is responsible for drumming up people to appear on the show daily.“They tell me what they want and I tell them what I have,” he says. In June, Forgie had to find the kid snubbed by Megan Fox when he tried to give her a yellow rose at the premiere of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen in London. Forgie, who has held various TV jobs since he graduated from Canadore College in North Bay, ON, succeeded in finding the kid, who was interviewed on MTV Live. But another day, Forgie couldn’t find a zoologist who would comment on whether a polar bear is more or less dangerous than an elephant.

“There was this spontaneous debate between the show hosts about which was more dangerous, a polar bear or an elephant. I had to call every zoo across the country trying to find an expert who would comment. But no one would pick one side, on the record.” Off the record one zoologist told Forgie elephants are more dangerous.

Sound crazy? Well that’s where shows like 30 Rock have it right, says Forgie. What they don’t show is the level of bureaucracy that can tie up production, he adds. Lawyers vet what goes out, because gaffes can sometimes result in lawsuits.

As for job security, forget about it.

“Certainly there’s not much job security in TV,” admits Forgie. And the expectation that people in TV are making millions of dollars per year is completely untrue, he adds. “People in my home town thought I was wealthy after I made a couple of commercials (as an actor). I made $700.”

Forgie's job at MTV is the first full-time job he’s ever had. He started off as an audience coordinator, which meant he had to fill seats, not a job he particularly enjoyed. “People have to understand that if they want to get into this business they have to start by doing jobs they might not like doing,” he says.

Round Seven: FASHION magazine vs. Ugly Betty/The Hills

Ugly Betty has at least one thing right: You don’t have to be tall and thin to work at a fashion magazine, says Karen Cleveland, marketing and communications manager for FASHION magazine.

“Shows like Ugly Betty and The Hills are fabulous but they are not reflective of my experience, says Cleveland. “Certainly many of the people I work with are beautifully dressed, but they’re also very smart, down-to-earth and very hard working.”

Still there are definitely perks, admits Cleveland: “…you can go to lovely events and meet amazing people.” Internships are the best way to make headway when it comes to getting a magazine job, she says.

And the Winner: Clearly there’s a grain of truth in everything you see on TV. But just a grain. jp